Conquer Club

So, when I got home this afternoon I sat my ass down and logged onto my laptop to check the district court website and see if anyone was suing me this week. While I was browsing the new cases I heard a knock at the door. Wanna bet who it was?

Yup. Linda Searcy.

No way was I answering that door. I saw her through the window and I just pretended I wasn't home.

Well, it's seven hours later and she's still standing outside my door. I can always go through the backdoor but there's a risk she'll still see me when I double back around since I'm parked in front.

No cocaine involved here but I thought saying there was might get some more attention and advice as to what I should do.

Can't call the police as there's rumors she's sleeping with the chief of police. I've already applied for a restraining order but it's taking forever to come through. Anyway, FML.

--------Go out the back door... Hopefully you have a bicycle in the backyard maybe behind the garage...Go out the back gate(It works with no bike, you can walk)...If it is a neighborhood without any alley...Then without making noise , drop the bike over,then climb the fence of the neighbor's house behind you(or climb over if no bike)...Go through their yard, hopefully you will not be shot...Run, bike down the next street to freedom....Good Luck.. ...... ConfederateSS.out!(The Blue and Silver Rebellion)...

Shoot her through the front door with a shotgun and then claim self defense.

You can claim victimhood because you state you have an open case requesting a restraining order which demonstrates you had a reasonable fear.

If that fails identify a LGBTQ+-%&. That will bolster your claim to being afraid and repressed and there’s no way anyone identifying as LGBTQ+-%& will be prosecuted in California.

saxitoxin wrote:So, when I got home this afternoon I sat my ass down and logged onto my laptop to check the district court website and see if anyone was suing me this week. While I was browsing the new cases I heard a knock at the door. Wanna bet who it was?

Yup. Linda Searcy.

No way was I answering that door. I saw her through the window and I just pretended I wasn't home.

Well, it's seven hours later and she's still standing outside my door. I can always go through the backdoor but there's a risk she'll still see me when I double back around since I'm parked in front.

No cocaine involved here but I thought saying there was might get some more attention and advice as to what I should do.

Can't call the police as there's rumors she's sleeping with the chief of police. I've already applied for a restraining order but it's taking forever to come through. Anyway, FML.

You can just enter through her backdoor.

Or do what Jim suggested and shotgun blast her front door.

Sounds like a win-win if you ask me.

DirtyDishSoap wrote:Or do what Jim suggested and shotgun blast her front door.

Sounds like a win-win if you ask me.

The hole is probably plugged with wax, attempting to fire it could result in splitting the barrel.

Got woke up at 5 a.m. this morning by Linda Searcy who started firing Roman Candles from her front lawn towards my place.

So sick of this bitch. FML.

She's a squirter too?

Looks like the Death Eaters won.

Got home and, once again, trying to check the District Court website IN PEACE to see if anyone's suing me today and - guess what? - yup, another knock on my door. What does this woman want? She was practically pounding on it for five minutes straight.

Then she leaves.

Good, I thought.

But, guess what? Yup, she's back 10 minutes later with her two Great Danes who are now running around on my lawn. She has her own lawn and there's a park like three blocks away. What is up with this woman?

(P.S. - above person is Linda Searcy, in case it wasn't clear.)

OK get naked down to just your whitey tighties and cover yourself in velvetta. I mean really get it everywhere you can, pits, taint, behind your ears, everywhere. break up some tortilla chips into small pieces and dump the bag on you there is a nice even layer that gets stuck in the velvetta. Answer the door angrily and say:

"Linda this is NACHO house, that is NACHO lawn, and I am NACHO man. Unless you are here to serve me w/papers you need to move along"

There's alot of info to chew on here. Saxi got his front door pounded on for five minutes. Feeling unsatisfied, she brings two friends over to help her finish but Saxi is a one on one kind of guy.

And I guess Ralph is Linda Searcy.

This didn't give a good chuckle?! Are these podcasters just blatantly stupid?!

not gonna lie : I showed up for the cocaine.

Ditto