Chuck Norris Facts

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Streaker
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Chuck Norris Facts

Post by Streaker »

Post'em if you got'em.


To kick things off:

-Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)


-Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."


-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

-Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there



There is plenty to go around, let's hear it :mrgreen:
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Streaker
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Post by Streaker »

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
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daddy1gringo
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Post by daddy1gringo »

My daughter once found a web page of them. This was my favorite:

Chuck Norris crossed the road. Nobody dared question his motives.
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epicethan
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Post by epicethan »

Facts?!? Not so sure about that but...just to play along...

Follow these steps:
1. Go to Google.com
2. Type in "Find Chuck Norris"
3. Click the "I'm feeling lucky" button
4. Laugh (out loud)
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Army of GOD
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Post by Army of GOD »

Chuck Norris doesn't have a "control" key on his keyboard.



















He is always in control.
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muy_thaiguy
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Post by muy_thaiguy »

The only person who beat Chuck Norris did not live much longer after that (which is kind of true; Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon).
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Post by BigBallinStalin »

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris thought up some of the funniest Chuck Norris facts ever, but he hasn't submitted them to the site because he doesn't believe in any form of submission.
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Army of GOD
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Post by Army of GOD »

BigBallinStalin wrote:Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris thought up some of the funniest Chuck Norris facts ever, but he hasn't submitted them to the site because he doesn't believe in any form of submission.


Winrar.
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Streaker
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Post by Streaker »

-Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

-Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

-After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".
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frankiebee
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Post by frankiebee »

When Chuck Norris jumps in the water he doessnt get 'wet', the water gets 'chuck norris'
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Trephining
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Post by Trephining »

Chuck Norris once ate an Atomic Fireball candy and was not impressed, so he ate the sun. A few hours later, he farted, inventing fireworks.
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Trephining
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Post by Trephining »

Say you want to survive a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris. There is no app for that.
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Trephining
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Post by Trephining »

Chuck Norris has a library card.
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Trephining
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Post by Trephining »

Chuck Norris knows all the possible ways to eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.
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Trephining
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Post by Trephining »

Chuck Norris invented Conquer Club.
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Trephining
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Post by Trephining »

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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Trephining
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Post by Trephining »

Chuck Norris did not vote for Barack Obama.
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Trephining
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Post by Trephining »

Chuck Norris uses a live rattlesnake as a condom.
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Trephining
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Post by Trephining »

Chuck Norris understands that the dice on Conquer Club are in fact random and hence does not complain when he loses several rolls in a row..
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Trephining
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Post by Trephining »

Chuck Norris does not like the food at Olive Garden.
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Doc_Brown
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Post by Doc_Brown »

Chuck Norris invented McGill University.
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b.k. barunt
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Post by b.k. barunt »

muy_thaiguy wrote:The only person who beat Chuck Norris did not live much longer after that (which is kind of true; Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon).


Chuck Norris wasn't in "Enter the Dragon".


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john9blue
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Post by john9blue »

Doc_Brown wrote:Chuck Norris invented McGill University.


God dammit I was about to post that.
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Trephining
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Post by Trephining »

Chuck Norris can eat 6 saltine crackers in 60 seconds without a drink.
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BigBallinStalin
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Re: Chuck Norris Facts

Post by BigBallinStalin »

Doc_Brown wrote:Chuck Norris invented McGill University.


A good joke, but to set the record straight: Chuck Norris was invented at McGill University before Chuck Norris invented McGill University.
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